i stopped writing after finishing my mfa in writing. other self indulgent practices took over. today i wear the same t-shirt for the 33rd day in a row; it is a long, sleeveless, black, sake pistols that covers my stomach. today in the yard the hummingbird kept trying to put its beak into a closed magnolia flower, the spicket is dripping more rapidly, and a huge rat walked across the fence. i do not like shopping nor do i like eating unless it is under specific circumstances. "allentown" by billy joel is a terrible song, but michelle pfeiffer in her red dress in the fabulous baker boys is likable. these hands are beginning to look as my mother's hands. as a child each time i noticed the wrinkles in her hands i cried. things mattered deeply then. the law of diminishing returns takes hold, so much so that i can drink a case and still be on my feet. the holy and the bitter is unintoxicating. but even on my feet, today, the beauty of dust in the sunlight around my children's hair gets me lightheaded. only seven weeks left until we have the hair of another in our tribe.