laws and He is Risen

maybe it had begun in his bowels but we burned his bowels
the way you burn the long blue
scarf of the dead, and all their clothing,
cleansing with fire. How fast time goes
now that I'm happy, now that I know how to
think of his dead body every day
without shock, almost without grief,
to take it into each part of the day the
way a loom parts the vertical threads,
half to the left half to the right like the Red Sea and you
throw the shuttle through with the warp-thread
attached to the feet, that small gold figure of my father--
how often I saw him in paintings and did not know him,
the tiny naked dead one in the corner
the mortal one.
-Sharon Olds
what is not known now shall be known hereafter. 
oh the suspense .

Yes the tears came
out like juice and sugar from the fruit--
the skin thins and breaks and rips, there are
laws on this earth and we live by them
i miss my dad
i love my kids
we did easter a week late since the kids were out of town for spring break. char set up an egg hunt with maps and directions (so like char) and the boys ate it up. they took it very seriously as they counted their steps looking for soccer and baseball style eggs. but easter is not my fav holiday.  it really should not be a holiday but rather a remembrance. i am fine going all out for valentines but not easter.  it is a different kind of holiday. i hope my kids come to know the savior by being like Him. i try, i guess we all do here in this house.


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