cute all over

"i have already lost touch with a couple people i used to be." joan didion

the sentiment of postmodern american poetry: make it new. life is not NOW it is FOR now, and for now and for now. as a girl the dreams of travel, career, husband, home and children was what filled my thoughts of the future.  check, check, check, check, check.  the last of my little girl dreams are fulfilled or forcefully erased.  it is time to get some new dreams. middle age dreams. old lady dreams. they are coming.  rich, plentiful, somewhat fanciful...they are coming.

this baby making phase of life is over. as a sweet parting gift , for some reason, this last baby of mine has evoked that 10 year old obsession i had with babies.  i found them to be so cute.  i have felt adoration for each child i have had, but this "oh my goodness his knuckles are so darn cute" (giggle) has just been a kick.  it is as if that person i was 20 years ago is still around but simply living in an older body.


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