zen no more

so a little weekend painting, reading and music interlaced with homecoming, soccer, friends and conference.  conference on the jambox was fab. the bass of their voices touched my feelers. visually i could focus on the canvas whilst listening.  that holland guy gets me every time.
in context the talk was discussing succoring the poor. so mary brought some expensive ointment for Jesus and some guy was giving her flack and her son said "Let her alone...She hath done what she could."

of course i take this out of context and apply it to my life, right? yes. last week deven and i were having a discussion regarding his teenage opinion of me as a mother. (when do they get to have opinions?)
his assertion "mom, nothing ever seems good enough for you."
to which i replied, "you may be right, but you are good enough for me. i give you positive support (this is a dead point if i have to illuminate it for him). just realize that the expectations i have of you are 100x less then what i have for myself. you want to live in my brain?"
he paused. "no. i do the best i can mom."
"dev, that is a convenient lie people tell themselves."
"wow mom."

but look at this! here is a scripture supporting dev's claim that doing what we can is enough. maybe one day my son will have to explain his mother with this saying, "she hath done what she could." put it on my tombstone. until then, i will be savoring these 5! babies (i love the number 5 and its multiples), jamboxing to some radiohead, and beating myself up for buying some expensive not-impressive kerastase shampoo...all the while knowing i could do more.

Mark 14:8  
maybe virgos should not have kids.


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