"there is not love of life without despair about life" -albert camus

early each morning i drop my girl off.  i treasure this drive, since it will only happen for a few months longer. then she will drive herself. and she will drive her brother since they will be in high school together. anyway, this was the above scene on my drive home (to get my 8 year old rolling). this was often my drive home at 5:30 pm on the 95 coming from the courthouse a few years ago.  there are distinct times when the glare from the sun is blinding, yet i am driving in it.  i am fully aware i cannot really see. if something were to run in front of me i doubt i would react. (even worse view with my dirty window from a snow day trip last weekend,)

remember Meursault in Camus' novel The Stranger? he was walking on the beach and accidentally shot someone because the sun was in his eyes. after reading that book i launched into a full study of absurdism. in a nutshell it is:  the only legitimate question any human must contemplate is suicide. do you continue to live? if so, why?  pick one of two options:
1. you continue to live despite the absurdity of life, loss, death and the possibility of no meaning at all.
2. you continue to live and make some leap toward some god, hope, faith, religion, etc. as giving meaning to life.

right? i guess. who knows...i suppose sometimes we vacillate between 1 and 2. i am always a step away from running over something i don't see because i am driving into the sun. but hey, that is life. it is absurd. but, so is pretty much everything. and i love it
he spends time with linens over his head 
navigating the house. 
he does not mind running into walls and stuff. 
maybe he is practicing for driving while he can't see one day.
(i painted one of his toenails pink. it is a tradition i do with my boys) 


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