Monday, September 28, 2015

i beg to differ

i disagree that sunday is a day of rest. it is a day of planning, timing, preparing, hustling and herding. i have to lay out three little boy sets of clothes, make sure their naps are timed so they have time to eat before we leave, i have to make sure they are dressed in a specific order because one kid will get undressed as soon as i am not looking (everett). i have to make sure the older kids get up and are wearing appropriate clothing (no white socks with black pants dev.) it is probably one of the most hectic days of the week.
i also disagree with some of the lessons. do trials make us stronger? i have found that they have made me a bit weaker and hardened. what pain and suffering i have endured has not made me stronger; rather, it has made me more attached to my people, and enabled me to understand others and be able to serve others better. that given, sundays are not a day of learning or a day of rest. rather, they are simply a day with my kids.
 deac in his primary program. that kid sings every word to every song.
 these two walking to nursery together. one in boots and one with messy hair.
don't be fooled, they don't last longer then 10 minutes in there without crying like madmen
char went to a different ward for a mission farewell, 
her snap revealed her sitting with her ex boyfriend. obviously he still loves her.
 and dev was starving after the first hour
he convinced me to hit DQ. we made it back for third hour.
no one even knew we were gone.

Friday, September 25, 2015

"when I was a kid..."

When I speak of being a child or even a teenager, it seems so irrelevant to my kids.  The advent of smart phones, social media and technology in general has severely altered the way they exist and interact. They will not know the urgency or despair of not knowing something, or not being able to connect immediately. I had to hoof myself to a library to find things out. When I finally got dial up I spent hours on it making my own books of information I did not know about art, artists, places, history, and poetry. It was astounding.
Last week in the evening I got a phone call from Charly (16) who was trying to find a dress store.
Char: "mom, my data is out and i cannot look up where this place is, but the address is 9999 Sunset." (her data has had to be limited due to snapchat excess)
Me: "well, you have the address, why do you need to map it?"
Char: "mom, i don't have data and i need to know where this store is."
Me: "you have the address. unless you want Ezra (1) to become mall escalator travesty because I am at the mall with both babies, I cannot map the address for you."
Char: "ok, I will call someone else."
She knows how to find addresses without a phone guiding her, but it is easier to have it on an instant map. There was no internet when she was born! It is within her lifetime that this advent has taken place. I came across this picture of her on twitter.
She was visiting Texas A&M and the hurdles were out so she just jumped them and took this picture. One of her friends must have edited it to look like spider-man and now it is all over the place.  My knee jerk reaction is to loathe social media and publicity, however, for these kids it is simply the was life is.  Charly is becoming semi famous in the valley for her achievements.  She is getting approached by coaches, schools, modeling agencies, she was even offered to have a part in a independent movie ("Highway to Havasu"...we decided it was of questionable taste and she did not do it.) So being human, I try to be a part of this human-ness. It all amazes me at times. Then I am reminded of George Saunders saying that if we are not sometimes baffled and amazed and undone by the world around us, rendered speechless and stunned, perhaps we are not paying close enough attention.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

the middle child

This Deacon of mine.  He is the nicest person I know. One morning I was in a huff because Dev had informed me that morning that he had blown off a final exam and failed his summer school class. I had to get the babies fed, dressed and loaded into the car to get Deacon to basketball.  Deac sat in the backseat of the car and I heard his soft voice say, "I am excited for fall."  I asked why.  "I think the babies are really going to like fall.  The leaves are so fun to jump in, and this year they can do Halloween."  Melt me. He makes the perfect middle child. He deals patiently with his teenage siblings as well as his baby siblings.  He is still the perfect mix of big kid and little kid.  Here he was appeasing Ezra, who after 3 minutes in the car must be entertained.  I feel like I only have a few more years to direct him, for it seems at the age of 12 or 13 kids have pretty much decided who they want to be and how many boundaries they want to push.  Deacon is a treasure.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

the holy fool

ezra has been scolded one too many times for biting everett.  so, he has taken up pushing and hair pulling.  everett often will ignore ezra's antics. ev is the eternal darling of the reactionaries he calls his siblings. everett is unquestioning of his own station and perfectly untroubled by ezra's false sense of superiority or freedom. it is as if everett realizes that the king, the god, and the liberal are all false identities; no one is free. thus, why get upset.
but gum.  if you don't give him gum when he asks, then everett gets upset.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

killing me softly

i have found myself in an interesting position of old mom to young kids.  all my friends with teenagers have the free time to become body builders (true story. this is a real trend), but i have these two babies.  so, i have some young moms who have become my dear amigas. they do not know quite what to make of me, but they love me enough to indulge me my birthday wish of seeing lauryn hill. it was brilliant.  ms. hill is a talented woman. and she is still a year older then me with one more kid then me.  she wins.

Friday, September 18, 2015

i did not get a picture of it

but what a delightful joy. watching my four sons swim and play in the sand. dev doing his magic trick of making a cup appear out of the sand, making water blow out of his nose, and explaining how sunglasses can be like goggles.  deac flipping and laying on my lap. ev splashing like a madman and swimming proper at the age of two. ezra is such a bully but is afraid of so much...he was so proud of himself for getting his face wet. and me sitting in the shallow water as each boy in turn comes to sit with me for a moment before going back to play.  that is my home. not place, not city, not house. those children are home.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Moving On

Dad passed when I was three months pregnant with Everett. I was taking care of my dad at the time, and was struggling with morning sickness, three kids, the emotion of my dad's toxic family and his sickness. He used to talk about how life is non-impactful.  That at some point he would become a fleeting memory that people who loved him would randomly recall.  For sure for the next generation...they don't even know my dad.  However, even after three years, there is hardly a day that goes by that I don't feel a shock that he is gone. Everett arrived 6 months later with some pale blue Charles Everett Huff eyes. There is a connection I have with Everett that heals some bleeding wounds.  Thanks for that Ev.

And knew you couldn't buy redemption with money. I am glad you never faked any big change or revelation. I took you for exactly who you were; fanny pack and all.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015


Yesterday, amidst the babies play group and just  the baby chaos in general, I prepared a team dinner for Charly's soccer team.  18 athletic and hungry girls.  A fan guy came to fix the living room fan in the middle of me cooking (which would be fine except the baby boys do not take well to strange men in the house, which means they demand I hold both of them.) I loaded up the babies and ran to get Deven and Deacon from school and came home to finish the meal, dessert and set up the house to feed that many people.  Nevermind the fact that someone had cooked pizza that had spilled all over the oven, sprayed EZ Off, then left it.  So I heated the oven for their garlic bread and it was quickly a smelly smokey mess. I aired out the house in the 105 degree weather. It's cool. I got this. The girls arrived and were as cute and happy as could be. Sweet girls so chatty and singing and laughing.  I served, took pictures and cleaned up the whole situation after the last one got out of the pool and left. I cleaned with Ezra in my left arm.

When the older kids got home today from school I had a list of things they had to do before anything else.  The boys got right to it...she wandered into her room.  Eventually she emerged to grudgingly do the chores.  A couple hours later she left early for her soccer game.  15 minutes after she left she called, "mommy?" so lovey..."are you coming soon?"  i replied "yes, i will be there when the game starts."  "can you come now? i forgot my cleats."  Bwhahahahah, her first varsity game at a new high school and she forgot her cleats.  "yes, dear.  let me finish feeding the babies and get Deven to watch them and I will be right over."  Sometimes this is all very tiring.