"you're perfect"

deacon and dexter                               deac is still little
 sharing candy at the indoor soccer game
deac is doing indoor soccer and basketball this season. i am finding that in raising boys the key to keep them productive is to use their energy by keeping them busy.  it makes it easy when the boy likes sports (unlike deven). so we get to spend a large portion of our week and saturdays going to support him in these events. (everett loves the indoor soccer because he can get right up to the plexiglass and sometimes the play comes right next to him.) often after the games we end up with a house full of 9 year old boys. deacon is an easy friend and has many of them. dexter has been around since we moved back from costa rica when deac was 4. they have their own secret language, goofy jokes and know each other well. i am thankful for the ease of deacon's personality and how well adjusted he is. 

in 2005 i was a single mother of charly and deven,  in law school and working part time. i had wonderful friends and recall it has being one of the happier times of my life. despite how busy and fulfilled i was, there was an underlying feeling that there was another boy human i was supposed to make. that feeling probably caused me to act prematurely in some decisions, but i wanted him so deeply. each night deacon comes to bed with me until he falls asleep, then i put him in his own bed. those 15 minutes of scratching his skinny soft back, playing the color game on his face ("your cheek is as red as a pomegranate"), and talking with him about how much we love each other is one of the sweetest rituals we have. last night after soccer practice we put together his valentines for school (which took forever because deven kept stealing the candy for the valentines. i had to chase, wrestle, and threaten  him over and over to get back deacon's fun dips). charly came in to the kitchen right when it was time to lay down with deacon. she launched into one of her vehement need based speeches. i told deacon to go lay down without me and i would be there in a few minutes. he politely refused and said he does not like going to bed without me. so he patiently waited until i was free. he fell asleep quickly. my boy.


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