The Illusion of Free Will

I have another illusion to add to the list: free will. The longer I experience psychic dreams and learn depth psychology the less I believe in free will.

My stance is telling considering I was born and raised in a high demand religion (Mormonism) that touts "free agency" as the greatest gift we as humans have. Jesus fought the war in heaven so we would have free agency. It was Satan that wanted to control us. Free agency is a cornerstone of the Mormon doctrine.

This life is not about being worthy of some degree of glory, or worthy of a temple club card, or unworthy if you are wearing a crop top. The shame over showing your midriff! When your blessings are predicated upon your worthiness it makes life a nervous condition because we have the free will to follow the massive list of random and changing rules of the church. Yet, we lose favor in Heavenly Father's narcissistic eyes if we don't follow them.

If we came from Source, are Source, and all are One...

then Source clearly wants to experience it all. The good, bad and the ugly. Source wants war and ecstasy. I feel I sat in contract negotiations with Source (God), my planetary squad (Spirit Guides) and my ancestors to draft a basic contract (K.) for my life, but the details would be up to me when I got to earth. However, if I deviated too far from the agreed K. ramifications would ensue. Sickness would come, trauma would repeat, and nightmares would rule my sleep if I didn't adhere to the terms of said K.

So sure, you have free will, but it comes at a price. It is not really free, is it? It cost me dearly to exercise my free will to follow the commandments of the Mormon faith instead of my intuition. I choose to follow a man made multi-level marketing scam because the brainwashing the church members receive in this cult is so deep. When I wasn't following the rules the guilt and shame ran so torrentially I got to the point of not wanting to exist anymore, and almost didn't. 

From where I am now, living life isn't about anything outside of my own divine guidance and intuition. I get to live in radical freedom and relentless curiosity. The shackles have been released.

I attempt everyday to show up and participate in the illusion of control and choice that my ego thinks it has, well aware that the psyche/soul has it's own agenda -- most of which I am not aware of. Some of it I am aware of because of my intuition and dreams of the future. I dream of the future frequently.

Sometimes I will show up poorly in the world and then take accountability for when I do, but what fun is perfection? Source likes a little imperfection type pain to add contrast. There is opposition in all things: the duality of light and dark. It is not all love and light, rather DEPTH and WHOLENESS that only comes from suffering and shadow. 

I can honestly say that I am thankful for all that I have gone through. I am thankful I was raised Mormon. There are worse contract terms I could have accepted, for sure. 

Once you are free of the illusions you can enjoy the divine drama of life. You are a cosmic poet who wrote a grand adventure for yourself. When you follow divine inspiration you will witness the play of your life unfold before your eyes and call it your magnum opus.