The World is Yours

Regardless of the legal status regarding my relationship with my deeply karmic, father of my 5 children as he raised them all, divine counterpart, this man is my best friend. Andrew was born on 01/01, his father passed on 01/01, he is a leader and do-er. Think Mark Wahlberg in the movie based on a true story "Pain and Gain" yet with impeccable morals and upmost integrity. Yes, slightly obtuse and myopic but only for the aforesaid mentioned morals and integrity. I mention this connection with Andrew because he has been with me through 17 years of physical, emotional and mental struggles. Within the past year he has joined me in understanding the origins and purpose of the contract my soul has, hence the contract his soul has. By him so choosing to join in attempting to understand the struggles, instead of letting me deal with my own private Idaho of self, he has seen through the illusions that G.O.B. (pronounced Job), from Arrested Development who presents jester like patriarchal type archetypes, have been casting before our realities for the better part of our lives. The illusions of government, higher education, religion, and even gender. Jason Bateman plays Michael in the Arrested Development series and he calls his magic loving brother out on a "magic trick" and G.O.B. retorts "Illusion Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...or candy."

That trickster I have addressed before. With these illusions falling like a curtain stage on the acts of our lives, Andrew wanted to be a part of the Contact 2022 conference I was planning to attend in Sedona, Arizona this past weekend. He humbly asked to go with me. This otherworldly event, literally and allegorically, was organized by my dream shaman and local mystic store owner, Susan Morgan. She is on IG at mysticdreamlasvegas and her only goal in life is stay close to her spirit team and source so that she can fulfill the purposes she incarnated here to fulfill. Susan was told to open this physical location in Henderson, NV to bring light and love to the people here, because as she has stated multiple times, she would rather be on her mountain in Sedona enjoying her pesky puppy and visits from her 3 children. This woman is on a timed mission and when you meet her you feel her passion. I was led to her by a waking dream I had in February of 2022. My sleep dreams have always been vibrant, disturbing, informative, and predictive. However, the waking dreams were not as familiar to me in my later years. I had a waking dream while running at 5 a.m. in Kanab, Utah of Everett at the age of 16 on a tractor in the streets of Kanab. Now I own close to 300 acres of land in Kanab, Utah. I have learned that action must come from my dreams. To pay attention to them. In February the waking dream I had took me to my knees. It was so devastating I could not process it. The scene was me standing in my master bedroom mid-day while watching my 7 and 9 year old sons, along with a 7 year old neighbor, playing in my backyard. My two boys were skillfully jumping on our gymnastic size trampoline and their new only-child friend was walking the perimeter of our pool enjoying the company of new playmates. I was watching them to observe our new 7 year old friend because he did not seem adept at trampolines, pools, scooters, etc. He was a soft spoken gentle boy that juxtaposed my guttural yelling jumping in his imagination Ezra. The scene shifted from what was to something tragic. In the coming months I learned that it shifted from what was to what was to come: the future. I saw our new friend drowned in the pool, Everett had fallen off the trampoline and cracked his skull, and Ezra had flipped in a way that damaged his neck bone.

March 12, 2022 I was at Charly's house. I came for a belated birthday trip to her beautiful home in Beverly Hills. Charly had gone out with friends for the evening and I got a call from Andrew that police were in our neighborhood at our 7 year old friends house. The molecules in my body felt like they were melting and all I blurted out was "Was it in our pool?" It wasn't. It was in his pool in the evening whilst he was fully clothed and reaching for a toy that he did not manage to escape the cold waters. He was 7. Angel. The next morning I sat with Charly and told her why I had to bounce back to Vegas earlier than expected. In that talk I asked her what she thought I should tell Ezra and Everett about the transition of death. My tall beautiful girl leaned back on her black love sac couch and said "I have never had to lose someone close to me...I would say fall back on what you were taught to believe that we existed before we came here and we exist after. They will see him again sometime." I did not realize this was a harbinger for a deep loss for Charly of her protector and best friend. It was. I feel that '99 kiddo doing his business for her in bigger ways than he even did here. Angel.

Spring break 2022 Andrew and I took our four boys to Ft. Lauderdale Florida. The events were all nature oriented and we did some swamps, mangroves, sea diving, and all animals so wild to Florida. It was a blast. Our two oldest sons, Deven and Deacon, were going to fly home with the littles so Andrew and I could go onto visit the keys for a few days alone. Hemingway, yes. Isolation, yes. Warm ocean, yesyesyes. The early morning before the boys were to fly out I had a foggy dream of being in a hospital with Everett and the nurse explaining "it did'n't work, We are here, but he may not be ok." I woke up startled with my angel Everett right in my face, so close, saying "I'm cold for you mom." I snuggled that boy warm with me and rethought the days plan of going out onto the ocean on a boat. Was Everett going to get hurt? Was he going to hit his head like I saw in the waking dream in February. I didn't know but I told Andrew "let's take it easy today" in a Nacho Libre "eeeeeeesay" tone. It had been a lot of activity for him anyways, so we went to see Sonic the Hedge Hog 2 at a local movie theatre. That's eeeeeeesay breeeeeeesay. After the movie we went out side the theatre to discuss food before dropping the boys at the airport. I was sitting 20 feet from Everett, Deven was behind him, as he climbed a railing, promptly slipped with his hand holds and fell backwards onto the back of his head. It sounded like a coconut cracking. There it was, I knew it was coming and I was helpless to stop it. Everett had a cracked skull and brain bleed that the medical staff could not conclude that he would be ok. I took that whole night sitting in a chair by his bedside to commune with whatever source I could. My ancestors came through in meditation, my spirit guides supported me, and gnosis came flowing about who I really am, what I had forgotten, and what I needed to do from here on out. I feel that using these children to speak to me was the only way I would really stop and listen. Debilitating and tragic for my dreams to involve 3 absurdly fun and loving boys. I had to stop and go deep inside because who was next to get hurt: Ezra. My spirit sensitive, red balloon in the gutter fearing, nightmare having Aries child Ezra. I felt deeply something was going to happen to him next.

What would you do? I went to a dream shaman. Susan Morgan. I calculated dates from the 7 year old friends drowning, to Charly's best friend who was killed in a hit and run, to Everett's skull injury. I was working numbers, meditating, decalcifying my pineal gland, eating clean, basically being a weird ass hermit. When there was a fatal car accident that killed a pedestrian in front of Ezra's school a week before the dates I had manically calculated that Ezra could be hurt...I understood the assignment. I kept that child home for a "Yes" day. I told Andrew and my mom that I felt Ezra was in danger that day and he was not allowed in any car for any reason the whole day. They had no idea what I was talking about, but I did not give a rats ass if they understood me. I do not seek understanding from anyone at this point in my life, nor did I the day I felt Ezra could get hurt. I learned these maneuvers alone, with the assistance of Susan, and did not care to teach anyone at that point. My goal was to learn why I had these dreams, what they meant by how they were presented, and what actions to take. Ezra did not suffer any injuries and has not to this date. But you know what I do 100%...PAY ATTENTION.

Pay attention to my intuition which is often manifested to me in dreams and synchronicities in life. I am a dreamer. Source connects with me through my dreams and has since I was a child. That dreamworld has been shackled by the illusions of my culture, upbringing and own self-loathing. It finally broke through in one of the most dramatic scenes I could have imagined. The innocent young. The Catcher in the Rye. I have read that book so many times and belly laughed while reading it out loud to Deven when he was young. Holden if hilarious. I know Mel Gibson was a nut in the movie Conspiracy Theory who kept copies of Catcher with him, but I loved it for the humor Chief. I reread it for the red hunting cap worn backwards, but deep down also for the rage at society. This loops back to this past weekend at the Contact 2022 in Sedona which per a dreamer's path is often circuitous. I will get to that next. On to the next one.