de ja vu, if it can be named, occurs frequently. it is always the realization of a past dream.
yesterday, kneeling in front of the fireplace to change baby i was thinking "love must incorporate the willingness and ability to accept the others deep seeded weaknesses..." voila. i had seen me, in this position, thinking the same thing in a dream i had in 2001-ish.
My daughter was around 2 or 3 when i saw this brown haired version of myself with this zoo of the new in front of me, coming to accept this fact of love. i woke up distraught with this painful idea of love that i would one day tell her about. she was curly haired and full.
time/space. i do not know what theory is correct of why these glitches happen. but they happen.
later yesterday evening the girl went to pick up baby. he wailed unlike he has before. his goat like tremor cry paralyzed her. she normally takes that baby's needs and wraps them up neatly. she sat there and looked at him bleat. tears came down her unwrinkled cheeks.
"love can hurt, mom" later she claimed. i wish i could cradle her long long body. "yes."