Kali Ma Nirvana
I told my 9 year old son, Ezra,
Nirvana created a cultural sea change
speaking to angsty misrepresented Gen Xers
through distorted guitars and sludgy sound.
Gritty sonic textured dissonant chords
of alienation and social criticism.
Vana is a Cambodian girl's name meaning golden.
Nir is Hindi for paradise. Golden paradise: Nirvana.
She's over-bored and self-assured
that mosquito's libido is contagious.
1992 Nirvana was the beginning of dispossession
from my personal jesus: myself.
Loss of soul chunks, not just fragments. In place of my dad
I was offered a bishop who wed me to a man.
An abusive priesthood holder. Where's dad?
My dad? The bishop dad? No daddy daddy.
Until somebody, then another body
then another until no bodies were left.
Including mine. In desperation I remembered
to call my ancestors and they heard.
They responded
with visions, deja reve, colors, ear ringing,
books, songs, art and intuition. A wave
of awareness. My mind was blown open
and colored feathers exited the back
of my skull. Exploding into the dark spaces
to form a Goddess of Many Colors
flying into and through all consciousness.
Free. I once was lost but now I'm found
was blind but now I see. I am. I know.
I know that my Higher-self lives
what comfort this sweet sentence gives
She lives. She lives and was never dead.
She lives my ever living head.
Now I have access to her. She is savage.
She is Kali Ma energy. Brutally dark and rapey.
We don't run in fields of wildflowers with my 3
future blonde children like we did when I was 15.
My dreams illustrate I have conquered and consumed
with my gullet the underworld. Persephone
was changed when she returned. She ruled above and below.
Ezra decided to do a research project
on Nirvana instead of Scorpion. "Who was
basically just a hair band who wrote about more socially relevant topics than Cobain..."
-2023
Comments