night terrors

charly was spending the night at her friends apartment about an hour from home. i got these texts from her at 5 in the morning, shortly after i had finally fallen asleep.

this little girl of mine. i say to you what zadie smith said, "my dear, resign yourself to the lifelong sadness that comes from never being satisfied. but also resign yourself to the lifelong momentary flashes of happiness that arrive in the seconds between after having completed a journey and before pursuing a new one. for while we, the never satisfied, are lifelong grievers, the rest are lifelong settlers. for while we aim high and constantly fall short, they aim low, and lower, and are constantly satisfied with themselves for having hist such low hanging fruit."

it is fine you don't want to do track anymore, nor go to cal state on a full ride. but keep on keeping on with your journey of grief and happiness. one of my night terrors is that you settle. i must trust now.

senior prom 2017...in a dress very similar 

to her first dress for freshman homecoming