Baby Games
In true fashion...I would like to bear my testimony/talk about myself/give some history/tout some facts/talk about whatever I feel at the moment as testimony meeting goes.
Andrew and I met out of the blue in an institute of religion in Las Vegas. Neither of us was expecting to run into their divine counterpart. Today Andrew is fiery, funny, good looking. He takes care of himself and is vested in staying healthy so he can possibly keep up with his kids. Andrew has always been this way actually. The one thing Andrew lacked was spiritual self care. In the beginning that was a problem for me as I really wanted a priesthood holder to lead and guide the family according to the book. He was never shooting for General Authority status. Or bishop. He was honestly himself. I became weary of doing the spiritual stuff and gave up on a lot the nonsense eventually up until 2000. That non-spiritual covid way of life brought me to my knees. I had a fucking mental breakdown. 2001 I got healthy. 2022 I got weird. 2023 is alignment and freedom. Andrew watched me go through all this and was so supportive. It was legit bonkers at times. "Oh, you had another dream. Tell me." Or buy this land, or start facilitating plant medicine, or take a breather from this, a vacation if you will, for a year and let's live in different houses.
I came in with spirituality hard, because it hit me hard. We are in this together Andrew. Spirit hits me, it hits you brother. Spirit showed us a vision baby because we are done doing this alone baby. "Thai massage and plant medicine at the same time sounds fun Andrew. Try that. I will drive." He is such a good sport. Even if he did not want it, I overflowed his half empty cup while working through the successive illusions I had to deconstruct that were making me sporadically sick. Nightmares. Anxiety. I was not sure what they were until I was so sure I had to act on it. Say something. Cause some fight. Suggest some different course of action. Read some book. Watch some show. Meet this person. Bring up ancestors on my team, and who was on his team? I get the dead dads. He gets the alive moms. Do you trust dead people or living people more? It is a legit question.
We grew our spirituality together, grew courage around our hearts, took leaps of faith. We stepped outside our comfort zones. We were at different faiths and it was important for me to try and understand each others divinity, and he felt the same. We have longevity and persistence. This marriage has some PERSISTENCE. Through out this past month I have had intense dreams of Andrew that remained elusive. It is interesting to live in flow, not knowing what is going to happen next.
This newest villain psychic addition to the resume of my life is spicy. I am not new to playing the villain, and Andrew is not new to supporting me. So par for our course here we are. I co-authored a spicy screenplay for myself with lots of core memories and plenty of landscape scenes. When I was little I thought we would relive our whole life before our eyes at some point after we died. I decided that watching landscape visuals would be worthy of watching again, so I watched for details. I paid attention as a child for that reason and out of fear of missing something I felt I needed to know or would want to see again.
At the age of 6 one summer in West Virginia I felt I needed to know what the hay loft in a barn looked like. I ended up slipping through the hole in the floor to where the prize bull was chilling out. I grabbed myself with my arms to stop from falling down into the pen. In the process I hit a sweat bee hive that responded quickly. Was I escaping bees or avoiding a bull? I held myself amidst the bees until my brother came to my yelling and pulled me out of the hole. It was harrowing. Things in my life have been harrowing, but it ends out all right. This time it was source, I AM vibes, that came and pulled me from the bull. A couple months ago Deven asked if it was all just my subconscious as opposed to dreams or god or whatever I was telling him that pulled me out of danger. Of course it is. Deven is so wise, I adore that guy.
My higher self knows what to put into my reality to make me respond. I respond to nightmares, visions, meditative downloads, all that big stuff. I try and figure out my life moves before it gets to repeating nightmare phase. Think ahead three moves. That is me myself and I playing those little baby games with me all the time. The games I always am forced to win. My higherself opens her King right up for me to take every time so I win. The higherself seems very much like a god, creator, and guidance. We are our own gods. I implemented a feature in my game that allows me to feel bullied into making decisions because my 3D self needed such a cheat code. Or simply earned? Or wanted? Let's say earned. I don't know.
In the name of Jesus Christ consciousness. Ase.
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