Added Upon
"She was always becoming something, most of the time, it was during the night when the world was asleep and her heart had time to talk with her mind about the things they cannot control. she was always becoming something..." "Made By the Broken" by Zachry K. Douglas (sounds like Gertrude Stein's repeating always repeating.)
This year has been stressful, very lovely as well, but getting a hold on these dreams and navigating a complete awakening as to why the past 30 years of my life has been travesty, followed by sickness, followed by different type of sickness. Oh, it's because it is time in my contract for me to wake up. To see truth. At some point I realized I choose this path before I got here, you silly Vanessa. It is time to realize a skill you had worked on in the pre-existence, or now I'd say past lives, now you can add upon it. We are added upon from life to life. Little by little is the precept under which we learn, hence evolve and change. All this nonsense in my life was training me for right now being the wake up point and being asked the question...what do you do know with all you have experienced and know? Follow your intuition and you will know.
I am a dreamer. I am guided by my sleeping dreams as well as waking meditations. It is a kick to have a dream turnaround be so quick. Sometimes from night to day, sometimes a couple days off. Sometimes years. The longest one just entered back into my life last year. It was a dream that prompted me to move to Italy, because France was my initial choice. That was in 1998. So 1998 to 2022. Our kids go to the same school. His wife is lovely. We take family trips together. He is Italian and older than what he was in my 1998 dream, but it was him. I have learned to trust.
So, trusting this change of life now is really the only option. It has been more daunting than I imagined, because this is the time of really grieving all that needs to be Marie Kondo'd out of ones life. Down to the nitty gritty nightmare having child that saw shadow people when she was 18, up to the domestic violence shelter volunteer, to the forgiving yourself of how shitty you have been to a lot of people, to the traumas of being so sick and disassociated during 5 pregnancies I did not take care of my body. I have been a sick sicko human. I gotta take care of my body, health is wealth. For real. Our body communicates what is going on around me to me. But during this purge, the body feels it. The energy is on a roller coster. Sit in it. Do all things I have learned and listen to what it is saying. See what is being brought forth and slay it. This world is a rainbow playground and I have an amazing purpose and drive to enjoy those I love, what I do and who I am.
I now understand the spiritual awakening is the ascension process into our highest timeline, kundalini energetic body. From there I can create innovative change for the future with integrity. It is a heart centered reality, because we are all one and all deserve a fruitful life. Energy is the future. Fables are of the past. The stories that keep me stuck I can let them go and pass into understanding my energetic body. The rules and regulations of the past have been cracked open to a new way of life. That is the "new earth", not Jesus coming in a 2nd Coming. It is in each of us. The kingdom is in us.
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