Second Hand Couture
"This is what I want people to know. The whole point of the human race and the human mind and itself is evolution. Whether it's evolution spiritually, physically...period. Evolution. The purpose from birth is creation. That's all humans do. Everything around you was created. You were created. That table over there created. This chair created. This mic created. That camera created. That hat created. The whole point of the human race itself is creation. Before now, where was at least ideally, the belief of 2 human beings on earth...everything after that was a creation in itself. The whole point is evolution and creation. If you're not evolving you're doing something wrong. So, anything that takes away the power of your mind is keeping you still and delaying your evolution. The whole point of life is evolution. Study your laws of the universe. The law of attraction, the law of abundance, the law of equivalent exchange. Study your laws. the laws of cause and effect. The karmic cycle. Study your laws. Dwell into your mind. Meditate. Understand that you can alter your realms by your train of thought. The minute you slow down your thought you're able to leave your body through astral projection. You're only enslaved if you can't control your mind, so while you can and while you don't have the whole world against you or you don't have a lot of worries, worry on freeing your mind from this realm when you can free your mind from this realm everything is but a thought... and if you can't free your mind then you're a slave to this realm. The whole goals is you live and then you die. You can die plenty times while you're alive. The ideal physical death is completion. You served your purpose and then you went. " -xxxtentacion
These grim reaper endings have waved the black flag. It is done. I have put my truth out and I feel like Ezra's new name he put on his Netflix account. He is not my worst nightmare but such a dreamy human. He is a spit fire boy that wears his black pleather jacket without abandon whilst citing his Aries zodiac as justification for his anger. That kid is hilarious and has been from day one. I have written on here that Ezra was named after one of my favorite poets, Ezra Pound, who spoke the words "what thou lov'st well reamains. The rest is dross." Pull down thy vanity.
These times of rejection enabled a level up for me and mine. What rejection you may ask? Or don't ask. I feel it. My kids feel it. Andrew feels it.
I have a great connection with faith. This is not the first time this rejection has happened and I won't hold onto things anymore out of fear.
My dreams prepare me intuitively for each and every day, but the universe knows something that I don't know yet. I have released the idea of closure, revenge or some person being eased into knowing truth with anyone in my life. Especially those humans with a god-complex. Lawdy knows Andrew is being soft af with his family. Andrew is a hero. He is an amazing human that awakened and made the transition so seamlessly it is humbling to my soul that he was happy and content in his 49 years of slumber and is happy and content now after realizing his truth. He drops that he was raised in a cult on our kids often as he laughs his deep endearing laugh. I fall in love with him more everyday as he is an example of how to live and love with diligence.
His sister is asking "do you think we are stupid?" Yes. I will yalp from the rooftops my barbaric yalp "yes, you all are all needing a new asshole." That is a Walt Whitman rendition for the day. Ezra should be thankful I did not name him Walt. Robin Williams taught that line in the movie Dead Poet's Society. A movie all the poets mock as trite, but it gave the basics of poetical truth to the world. Poets are the true legislators that end up as food for worms too soon because they yalp and yalp about truth. How the crowd is mindlessly moved at the ballgame or the divinity of plums and the red wheelbarrows glazed by rainwater. William Carlos Williams was a doctor and a poet who wrote about plums as a survival mechanism to live in gratitude. We can survive by paying attention to the enchantment of life, right? I will be like Pablo Neruda today and write an ode to my socks. Or an ode to my Converse boots I found at Buffalo Exchange with my friend Bekah, because who knew Chuck Taylors came with heels? The 90's babies are so committed to their Chucks. So many people love those boots and I have made friends based upon those boots.
The universe speaks to me through second hand fashion. Put that on my gravestone. "second hand couture lies here." Actually, I do not want a gravestone, it is simply metaphorical for life that I rest on the work of my ancestors who paved the path for all I am. We are all second hand couture in my family because our fathers were raised on dirt floors or trailer parks. My dad worked so hard to elevate himself from his North Vegas roots. I try and process his thought process at times. To go from being abandoned as a child, working his way to have money for food as a bus boy at the Flame in Vegas, to becoming a General Counsel of Boyd Gaming in clothing tailored for him with his insignia embroidered on his french cuffed shirts. His luxury cars were insane, and if he got in any sort of accident the car was compromised and he got a new one. I have only gratitude for that man. He tells me to know the royalty I am that he paved. He tells me to buy new stuff even though I don't want anything. He tells me to live because I have obviously not created or evolved enough because I am still here. Like a cockroach I just won't die. I clearly don't have enough used car dealing Terry Bedfords in my life.
Fin.
This week has been exhausting. All I hear this morning is "you are not done. you are not done."
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